


Naughty Jumpers with Nice Results

by blueboxesandtrafficcones



Series: 31 Days of Ficmas 2018 [7]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Christmas Party, Drunk Sex, Eggnog, F/M, Home for Christmas, Smut, Spiked eggnog, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, the Doctor's a lightweight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:40:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21724648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueboxesandtrafficcones/pseuds/blueboxesandtrafficcones
Summary: When Jackie calls and “requests” their presence at cousin Mo’s annual Ugly Jumper party, the Doctor requires some convincing.  Attending the party provides an opportunity for them to learn something new about him - specifically related to the properties of cinnamon.
Relationships: Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Series: 31 Days of Ficmas 2018 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1200850
Comments: 14
Kudos: 101
Collections: 31 Days of Ficmas 2018





	Naughty Jumpers with Nice Results

**Author's Note:**

> This was written last year for 2018's 31 Days of Ficmas, but is only getting posted here now.

“What do you think of this one?” Rose held a jumper up to the Doctor’s chest as she stared at it critically. Her phone had rung at a god-awful early hour this morning, her mother in no uncertain terms demanding their presence at cousin Mo’s annual ugly jumper party. The Doctor, needless to say, hadn’t been pleased, but after an intense but pleasurable negotiation, Rose won – though she’d argue they’d both won. Twice.

“No.” Folding his arms, he scowled down at her. “I don’t want to go to this party, I don’t want to be here buying an ugly jumper, and I _certainly_ don’t want this one.”

“Fine.” Putting it back on the hanger, she had to admit he was right; while decorative, it wasn’t quite ugly enough to qualify for the party.

“So we can go?”

“Only to another store.” She bit her lip to hide a smirk at how quickly his face fell. “You agreed to go the party, remember? The jumper’s a requirement – there’s a contest and everything. Everyone throws five quid into the pot, and the winner gets the cash. Besides, you always wear a jumper anyway – this is no different. It’ll be fun!”

Not giving him time to answer she spun on her heel, making her way out of the store and into the mall. They’d landed on a famous shopping planet in the 52nd century, and she was determined not to leave until she’d found the perfect jumper for each of them and a gift for her mother and Mo.

“I don’t understand the appeal of buying something specifically because it’s ugly.” The Doctor skulked after her, and she didn’t have to see him to know his arms were crossed.

“It’s fun.”

“Spending what little disposable income you have on something hideous you’ll only wear once is _fun_?”

Rose rolled her eyes, ignoring his dig about money. “Yes. It’s part of the spirit of the season. A chance to laugh and spend time together, and maybe even win a few quid. Sometimes Mo requires them be homemade only, but this year shop-bought is fine.” A light-up green monstrosity hung in the window a few doors down, and she bee-lined for it.

Forest green, it was decorated like a tree with bits of tinsel stuck to the front. The gifts under it were 3-D as well, in garish colors, and the lights on the tree were real, blinking lights. “This might work.” Turning to hold it up against the Doctor, she spotted It towards the back of the shop. “Hang on.”

Putting the jumper she held back without looking, she never took her eyes off the one she found. “ _Yes_!” Meant for two, it was red and green with white lettering. Overly large, it had two neck holes but only two arm sleeves. The left side was red with green detailing, the words “ _I’ve been nice_ ” in white. In the center was a large stocking, filled with a teddy bear, lollipop, and gingerbread man. In contrast, the right side was green with red lining, reading “ _I’ve been naughty_ ”; the stocking on this side had coal coming out of the top.

“It’s perfect!” Rose beamed up at the Doctor, who was staring at it in horror. “The only question is, who is which?”

He opened his mouth, maybe to reply, maybe to curse, and she covered his mouth with her hand. “That’s not really in question, I’m obviously the nice one.”

“Rose, we can _not_ go to a party with your mother in the _same jumper_ ,” he pointed out, not hiding his tinge of desperation as well as he probably thought. “She’ll think we’re a… a couple.”

Rose flipped through the surrounding options, but there wasn’t anything she liked better. “Okay, a, we are a couple. And b, I don’t think you’ve considered the brilliance of this.”

“What brilliance?” He held it up, expression still sour as he gazed at it. “‘M not seeing any brilliance, here.”

Dumping her purse on the ground, Rose wriggled into the ‘Nice’ side. “Well, for one, we will _literally_ be inseparable – no one, especially Mum, will be able to corner you without me there to run interference. And two- c’mon, try it on.”

It took some maneuvering to get them both settled in the sweater, but finally it was on. Their insides arms hung awkwardly for only a moment before Rose took his hand. “See? Not only do you _not_ have to be alone at any point during the party, you can hold my hand the whole time!”

The Doctor’s expression was softening, and she knew she almost had him. He would have gone along regardless, albeit with plenty of grumbling, but she wanted to, if not make it fun, at least minimize his suffering.

“And,” she lowered her voice to murmur, reaching up on tiptoes to press her lips to his cheek, “it’s just like the night we met. My left hand, your right. And you never have to let go.” She kissed the corner of his mouth, waiting there until his head turned towards her enough that their lips met.

It was a sweet kiss, full of promise, and Rose tasted victory. “Is that a yes?” she whispered, and he sighed heavily.

“Fine. But only for a few hours.”

“Deal.”

* * *

Naturally Jackie loved their sweater, even if she did give Rose a raised eyebrow when the Doctor wasn’t looking. Her mother’s was red, with the _A Christmas Story_ leg lamp front and center, making Rose laugh.

Mo’s flat was crowded by the time they got there, the booze flowing freely judging by the raucous laughter and off-key singing emanating from the open door. The first hour was spent saying hello to people she hadn’t seen in a while, telling highly sanitized stories of things she’d seen and done, the Doctor standing silently next to her all the while. Every so often he’d squeeze her hand, and she’d taken to rubbing her thumb over his to soothe his agitation.

“Here!” Mickey appeared nearly out of thin air, holding out a plastic cup filled with eggnog. “Hey, babe.”

Rose tensed as he leaned in, turning her cheek so he missed her lips. She saw the Doctor’s expression tighten and squeezed his hand in comfort and apology. Not telling anyone they were together meant Mickey assumed _they_ were still somewhat together, though she was under no illusions that he was sitting home on Saturday nights hoping she’d show.

“Thanks, Micks.” Rose frowned down at the proffered cup, and her only available hand already holding a beer. “Uh…”

“I’ll take that,” the Doctor said with a too-bright grin, grabbing the eggnog and taking a long pull of it. “Cheers.”

“Yeah, sure.” Mickey frowned at him, before taking in their sweater. “That’s all right, I suppose. Certainly true enough.”

“Yours is… interesting,” Rose replied diplomatically, leaning in closer so he could catch her words. The music was blasting, and any conversation deeper than unimportant pleasantries required minimal personal space to hear. His sweater was, as most were, red and green, with two gingerbread people doggy style. The female was on all fours, red lipstick and a pearl necklace, her partner behind her.

“Thought it was funny,” he shrugged, and she was torn on whether or not to be pleased that her opinion didn’t matter to him. “I like it, at least. So did Vince.”

“Of course he did.” Rose hated the awkward small-talk between them on the best of days, but it was even worse with the Doctor literally joined at the hip with her, in a sea of people during a party. She was still looking for a way out when the song changed and the Doctor leaned down to her ear.

“Want to dance?”

“What, really?” She blinked up at him, before looking towards the dance floor. All of Mo’s furniture had been moved out of the sitting room, except for tables set up along two walls holding the snacks and beverages respectively. Despite the catchy pop Christmas tunes blaring from speakers, most of the people were dancing like they were in a dark club, grinding on each other. There were a few wandering hands between partners, and the later the party went, the fewer inhibitions there would be. Last year, one amorous couple had gotten evicted when the girl, a coworker of Mo’s boyfriend, started giving her bloke head in front of everyone.

The Doctor merely shrugged, finishing his drink. “C’mon.”

“Okay.” Wriggling her fingers in her ex’s direction, she let her partner lead her to the floor. It took a song to figure how to work around the sweater, but they ended up front to front. He maneuvered them back towards the corner, and he relaxed once his back was to the wall.

“So when you said dance…” Rose drawled, and he merely shrugged.

“Wanted to get away from Rickey.“

“Mickey.”

“Whatever.”

Rolling her eyes she danced in place a bit, the jumper making it difficult to move much, but she did her best to lose herself in the beat. Eyes slipping closed, she let her body move.

“Rose?”

Blinking her eyes open, she found him frowning down at her.

“What?”

“I… feel weird,” he murmured, and the party attitude she was struggling to maintain evaporated.

“Weird how?” The only thing he’d had was the eggnog Mickey had intended for her, but it was Mickey – she highly doubted it was drugged, and even if it was, it shouldn’t affect the Doctor’s _superior biology_ , right? “What’s wrong?”

“The room’s… spinning, a bit,” he said slowly, his hands settling on her hips, one on top of the jumper, the other below it. “And… my mind is fuzzy. What was in the drink?”

“Should’ve just been eggnog.” Rose scowled, looking around the room trying to spot Mickey. She couldn’t see him, and the way the Doctor was leaning back against the wall suggested he wasn’t in any position to move.

“What’s in that?”

“Milk, cream, eggs,” she listed off, shrugging. “Rum, probably.” Rising on tiptoe, she smelled his breath. “Definitely rum. A lot of it.”

“It had a… something sprinkled on it.” His brow furrowed in concentration, making Rose tense. She wasn’t used to him being at anything less than perfect capacity, to needing to be the strong one for him.

“Cinnamon, probably.”

Their eyes widened at the same time. “I thought just ginger was a problem!” she hissed, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Cinnamon too?”

“Apparently,” he said helplessly. “Learn something new every day, I suppose.”

“Let’s get you out of here,” Rose decided, turning so they were side to side and maneuvering his arm inside the jumper over her shoulder. “C’mon love.”

She guided him to the door, half-carrying him as he dragged his feet. Jackie was standing by the door flirting with Howard from the market, though she straightened when she caught sight of her daughter. “Rose! What’s going on?”

“He’s having a reaction to the eggnog,” she said tightly. “I’m gonna take him home. We’ll see you in the morning?”

“You’ll stay?” Her mother lit up with hope, and Rose couldn’t say no if she tried.

“Course, yeah. He’s in no condition to be driving anyway.”

“All right, love. Need help?”

Rose shook her head, guiding him forward again. “No. Thank God it’s just down one flight.”

* * *

Rose was a sweaty mess by the time they stumbled into the flat, and she brought him straight into her bedroom. “Right, down you go.” He sank onto the twin like a sack of rocks, and she struggled out of the shared jumper, leaving him in it for the moment. “Okay.”

A quick rifle through the medicine cabinet found some Time-Lord safe medication, and she brought it and a large glass of water back to her room to find he’d rolled onto his side and was snoring slightly.

“Doctor?”

He grunted, jerking awake to blink blearily at her. “Wha’?”

“Drink this.” She gave him the pills and water, watching as he downed both easily. “Good. How much eggnog did you have?”

“A few cups,” he muttered. “Was good. Think just the last one had cinnsimon. Ciminison. The… bad stuff. Tasted good though.”

“How bad is it?”

The Doctor rolled onto his back, throwing his arms wide as he stared up at her. “No’ too bad. Can’t filter out the alcohol’s all.”

“So you’re drunk.”

“Yep.” He popped the ‘p’, before snickering at the sound. “You’re very pretty.”

“Thanks, love.” Reassured that he wasn’t about to die, Rose perched herself on the edge of the bed by his hip. He looked rather loveable, alone in the two-person sized jumper, a little out of it. One of his hands migrated to his stomach, the other settling on her knee, and she grinned at the adoring smile he gave her.

“Very, very pretty.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” Leaning forward to kiss his cheek, she stood with a sigh and moved towards her chest of drawers. Locating a pair of pyjama shorts and a tank, she turned her back on him and changed. Just as she finished he grunted as if in pain, and she spun in worry – only to find him watching her, hand wrapped tightly around his cock.

“Doctor!” She scrambled for her bedroom door, slamming it shut before turning back to him. “What’re you doing?”

“You’re wet,” he replied smugly, hand continuing it’s smooth glide along his length. “Don’t deny, I can smell it. You want me.”

 _He’s drunk_ , Rose reminded herself firmly, determined to hold his gaze and not let her eyes wander. “I nearly always want you. Doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”

She settled on the side of the bed beside his hip, so close his forearm brushed against her knee with every stroke. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry, wasn’t wanking with intent, but it was still distracting, talking to him normally as he did so.

“Awww, come on,” the Doctor whined. “Please?”

Rose drew her knees up to her chest, scowling at him.

“Ooh, that was a mistake – I can smell you even better now,” he tried to leer, making her roll her eyes.

“You know what? Let’s get that jumper off you, make you comfortable.” Her main goal was to get his hands off himself, but if it made him more settled and therefore more likely to pass out, she’d take it.

They struggled together to get it off him, Rose ending up in his lap as she pulled it over his head, only realizing her mistake when his fingers snuck inside her shorts to rub against her.

“See? Wet,” he smirked, as if she’d denied it. “ _Very_ wet. Maybe you should’ve been wearing the ‘naughty’ side.” His middle finger slid inside her with no resistance, and her mind went blank for a long moment as she ground down on it and the thumb he pressed against her clit.

“Oh, shit. Shit! Stop it,” she scolded, not quite able to force her body away from him. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m perfectly aware of my actions,” he argued, not only disobeying her but adding a second finger inside. “As are you. C’mon, please? Don’t make me beg.”

Rose grunted, her hips taking on a life of their own as they thrust down on him. “Are you gonna come and pass out before I do?” she asked, semi-rhetorically. “Cause if you do I might kill you.”

The Doctor sniffed, offended. “Have I ever left you unsatisfied before?”

“No, but I’ve never seen you drunk before,” she shot back, eyes widening. “Fuck, I’m close.”

He struggled upright, managing to keep the rhythm going until they were both sitting up. Nuzzling her neck, he sucked at her pulse point and she shattered, yelping with surprise before collapsing onto him.

“Oh. Oh, wow.” Rose moaned softly into his neck. “Okay, that was nice.”

He snickered, peppering kisses over her neck. “My turn.”

Sighing as aftershocks shuddered through her she climbed off his lap, removing her own shorts. “Right, everything else off.” They managed to get him naked fairly easily and distraction-free, only a few pauses for soft kisses and the thorough suck she gave his erection before positioning herself over him. “Again, you pass out and I kill you.”

“Noted.” His eyes were a little clearer now, and she hoped he was able to keep that promise. Then he pulled her down onto him, seating himself fully inside her on the first try.

“Fuck.” Still somewhat boneless from her first orgasm, Rose had to cling to his broad shoulders for leverage as she began to work herself over him. Using his nose, hands busy guiding her hips, he moved the neckline of her tank down so her breasts were free. Dimly aware that she was grunting with every thrust, his hips moving in countermeasure to her own, she shifted her grip to her headboard.

It didn’t take long before they came together, crying out in unison as she sagged, draping herself over him. Eventually able to move she got them cleaned up, and when she returned to her bedroom she smiled to see him sound asleep.

When her mother asked the next morning about the scratches on her neck as she handed over Rose and the Doctor’s winnings, she merely shrugged.

“The jumper was scratchy.”


End file.
